30 Reasons Not to be in a Play

WRITTEN BY :: Alan Haenel

Playscripts Inc

National Academy of Performing Arts Senior Tread the Boards

DIRECTED BY :: John Arthars

7-8 October 2022


Synopsis

Stage kisses, pink eye, inciting World War III -- these are only a few of the many things that can go wrong during the production of a play. 30 Reasons Not To Be in a Play provides an evening filled with the horrors and hardships that befall those who feel the call of the stage. In a series of hilarious examples, this play proves that drama can be a very dangerous thing and it must be avoided at all costs. 


Cast

Playing multiple roles

Matisse Allen
Ryder Calbert
Izellah Connelly
Isabelle Corben-Brown
Evie Cornell
Haysal Denzongpa - Bathols
Kiyomi Duncan
Elysium Hipwood
Orlando Johnson
Louviza King-Edeborg
Lily Rose McKenzie
Kai Mota Gil
Ruby Nolan
Stella Palmetto
Jaeda Power
Ella Shave
Charlotte Rose Smith
Cooper Swain
Grace Thomas
Lucia Umpierrez

Crew

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR :: Lynn Dyer
LIGHTING :: Thomas Bell + Lynn Dyer
PROGRAM :: Trina Power
PHOTOGRAPHY :: David & Beau Reynolds
FILMING :: Fat Tuesday Films


30 REASONS NOT TO BE IN A PLAY

1. Plays Suck!

2. You had a teacher named Miss Griswold.

3. Because you are a fast talker.

4. Plays take passion and devotion and commitment. You can’t afford to expend any of these things on a play.

5. Because your older sister was in a play and she said she loved it, so you have to hate it.

6. You can catch germs.

7. When you were a kid, your neighbour always wanted you to put on a play.

8. Because rehearsals and performances will make you run the risk of not monitoring your cell phone or your email on a regular basis.

9. Because meteorologists tell us that beating butterfly wings can trigger a chain reaction causing hurricanes to develop half way across the world.

10. Plays Suck!

11. You’re just too shy.

12. Your Great Aunt Gladys.

13. Parent note.

14. Mum’s critique.

15. Plays Suck!

16. Abraham Lincoln

17. Because your father has a mental disease.

18. Cast parties.

19. Overgrown zucchini.

20. The Legend of Mort.

21. Guys have to wear lipstick and blush.

22. Conjunctivitis!

23. Because you have a little sister who doesn’t like peas.

24. You might hurt your left-hand pinky finger.

25. Can trigger you to lose your temper.

26. Getting the thickness of plywood wrong.

27. You might be caught off guard.

28, 29, 30. The destruction of the entire world!